some grams + some thoughts.

just a few grams to give this blog some life.
lately i haven't been able to blog much. i like this space to be authentic & i feel like i've done a pretty good job of that over time. i am honestly a pretty happy go lucky, look at the bright side kind of person & i think that shows through to this space. i like to keep this place light. i don't share every single disappointment, sadness or problem that i have here. of course there is the occasional rant & also i write from my heart & get sappy sometimes too, but for the most part, i like to keep those parts of our life private. since losing my dad, i have found myself taking less pictures and blogging even less than that. i don't like it at all. those are such huge parts of me, but for right now they are just on the back burner. i want this place to stay real and stay positive, and i'm not saying i'm a crying, depressed mess all day every day, but just at this particular season in my life, writing about the little bits & pieces of my day & what we did over the weekend just doesn't feel authentic, because my heart is still in so many pieces.
i desperately want to get back here, get back to normal life, whatever that means. but while i try and navigate through days with our busy, busy, busy little guy & all of my different feelings, this space will probably remain quiet for a little while longer. it's SO important to me to continue documenting abel's life & ours. this tiny corner of the internet has given me such a huge huge outlet for that & has seriously been my happy place. i love it here & want to remember all of the wonderful things throughout our life. the sad parts will forever be in my heart though, a place that i will never forget them, and that's where i'd like to keep them. not here. so thank you for continuing to check in & see if we still exist :) & please stick around while i gather up the bits & pieces of myself that still feel like they are everywhere. i hope to be back in this place with my whole heart very very soon. xoxo

when it snowed + snowed

+ snowed some more...
this time last year, i had the snuggliest newborn who slept 12 hours a day minimum + i was still figuring out how to be a mom to this tiny being who had graced our home. snow days galore + snuggling up on the couch 24/7 was totally my bag of chips. this year is different for me though. for the first time in probably my entire life, i am not praying every day for snow. womp womp. this year, i've become one of those 'itching for spring + warm weather' people... GASP. honestly though, it's abel. he's so busy now + i want to get out to the park + the zoo + take walks + every other outdoor, walk your socks off activity with him.
as soon as he started walking at christmas, he might as well have been running + the rest is history. i love it so much + am so excited for this constantly keeping me on my toes phase of life with him. so to be honest with you, we are over the snow for now + are just waiting on some warmer sun days so we can party our pants off in the great outdoors for more than a couple of minutes...
which brings me to these couple of minutes that we spent outside on our most recent snow day. abel LOVED the big flakes falling on his face, he was so tickled. we put him in the snow + he didn't move, just smiled + looked at us like, 'okay, now what. are you gonna pick me back up? this stuff is half my height.' ... or at least that's what i imagined his thoughts to be. it was the best 5 minutes of our snow day + totally worth the 15 that we took getting bundled up beforehand. 
so anyway, bring on the warmer days + sunshine whenever you feel like it mother nature... but until then, we will try to enjoy + savor the snow globe ones we have left.

& all of a sudden we had a O N E year old

so, before abel turned two felt like a great time to post about my favorite guy + his birthday party. so here it is! we had such a great time with our family + a few close friends, and felt very blessed by those who came to celebrate him on his special day. we went with bright colored + fun for the "theme"... just like him. i hung 12 photos from each month he's been with us because i love pictures + only take a couple zillion of him each day, so it just felt right to do so. we let him "smash" his cake, which he interpreted as politely + barely touch this thing.... i loved that probably the most. as fun as it would have been to see him go to town on that thing, it was SO him the way he approached it. so carefully + thought out. he doesn't love touching weird textures + this was no exception, thankfully dad was there to save the day + give him his cake wedding style... + THAT he thoroughly enjoyed.
abel is loved by so many + that just fills my heart with a joy un-explainable. 
he's the very best thing i know.