Our little bit is FOUR!

Sitting here on the eve of Lucy's birthday & remembering so vividly this night four years ago. 
Didn't Abel just turn four???!
I've said this a million times, but it still rings so true. Lucy is one of my greatest prayers that came to fruition just as I'd specifically prayed for. She is literally all that I asked for & more. Kind, gentle, loving & fierce. Brave & adventurous, soft & sweet. Beautiful. Bonus features that I didn't know to hope for are that she's one of the most nurturing humans on the planet, she's wildy hilarious, the snuggliest of them all, tough as nails, and has a little more moxie than I was prepared for, but that too feels like a quality that will help her move mountains. There are truly no words for the way I love her, she is my favorite little brown haired girl.
 My first daughter, my sunshine girl, and my sweetest treasure. I couldn't be more proud of you & am so thankful to be your mama. Happy birthday little bit, I love you!
Last years birthday post HERE


Isla's 2nd Birthday Breakfast!

Isla's "birpay" breakfast was sweet & simple.
Doing something special for our kids on their birthday morning is always always my very favorite part of their birthday celebration as a whole. The early part of the day is the sweetest at our house, and having their little faces light up when they wake to balloons or flowers or whatever it is, is the cherry on top. I just love making them feel special & celebrated, and i hope they remember it as they grow. 
Can't believe our girl is two. My very favorite two year old in the world.


Two Years of Sweet Isla Jane

I really cannot believe Isla has been ours for two years. My third, my BABY. The last two years have personally been some of my most emotionally challenging thus far, and Isla was my sweetest sunshine throughout. Something about her special soul is healing & comforting, and as strange as it may sound, even at a few months old it was like she already possessed the gift of empathy. 
She is bright & beautiful, and special in a million ways... and I couldn't string enough words together to truly express just how much we love her. Happy Birthday Isla Jane! We love you forever!
Some of my favorite pics from her second year of life below, and a link to last year's birthday post HERE, and when she was born HERE!


a happy little gift guide: isla's turning TWO!

one  \\  two  \\  three  \\  four  \\  five  \\  six

Isla turns two this week & I’m so excited to celebrate her again! She obviously has no requests or needs as far as gifts go, but it’s always so fun to put together these little gift guides.
1. This straw bag is the very cutest. She’s always stealing all of my bags and dragging them around the house, so I think she’d enjoy one that looked like mine but was all her own. 
2. These fairy friends books have the prettiest illustrations and are by far some of the better primer books out there. We read every night with the kids and books are my favorite thing to buy for them. I like the simplicity of these. We have the "Opposites" one and the kids ended up memorizing it & “read” it all on their own. 
3. Dress up is one of our kids favorite things to do. They will always choose activity or imagination over any toy, and our costume box definitely needs updating! The girls love alllll princess dresses, and all three of them love to play super hero’s or pirates or wizards at Hogwarts!
4. How sweet is this swan?! 
5. Both of the girls refuse pants most of the time and even at night they’ll choose a nightgown over a set these days. This one looks simple and pretty, and these are really fun too!
6.  This year might finally be the year we are going to get the ride on jeep. We’ve talked about one for a couple years now, almost got lucy one, almost got it for abel, and in the end had parties for them instead, because I really just love a good gathering & any reason to celebrate, decorate or eat!

Thanks for stopping in! xoxo


Plans & Change & Heartache...

We had planned to be at the beach this past week with our friends, I would have been 16 going on 17 weeks along and anxiously & excitedly waiting to find out if we were having a boy or girl in only a few short weeks after we’d returned from our vacation. Our last big trip as a family of five! 
Monday was scheduled to be a routine check up, but instead no heart tones were found on the doppler. I was sent to ultrasound minutes later, where it was confirmed that we had lost our baby a week and a half prior. 
I never wanted us to experience this. No one should have to. But here we are. Our hearts left with a gaping hole that can be filled with nothing else this side of heaven. I have never felt heartache like this. Our fourth baby, what would have been our family’s little caboose. 
So many things we had envisioned as a family of six, the sweetest little plans the kids had made in their own hearts, dreams of October through December with a new baby, talking nearly every night at dinner about who would fill the sixth chair at our table... 
Truthfully, I still feel so devastated that I don’t have a lot of encouraging words about it. I wish that I did, and I hope that I do at some point. It feels cruel & it feels unfair, and yet somehow, somewhere inside me I still know that God loves us. I see His love in the faces of my children & in Chris every single day. I feel it when I worship & today in the warm sun on my shoulders as I walked across the parking lot. I see it in the sunset over our lake & in my home that is filled to the brim with flowers sent from so many people who love us & are lifting us up during what feels like our darkest hour.
I miss our baby, I miss being pregnant, but am thankful to have carried her for a season. I am hopeful that God will bless us with another baby to keep & I feel certain that even in the company of deep sorrow, He will continue to weave beauty into our story.
 "Can't go back to the beginning, 
Can't control what tomorrow will bring, 
But I know here in the middle, 
Is the place where You promise to be."

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