happy old town saturday

thank you, thank you for spring. i'd say we are at a 90/10 as far as warm vs cold days go... at least for the past week anyway. it IS only april + for colorado that means nothing as far as weather goes, but as of late it's been pretty beautiful + we are soaking it in.
walking + walking + playing outside + more walking.
last weekend my little family of 3.5 ventured down to old town + i actually remembered my camera... whaaa? so i snapped a few pics + we had a happy little saturday.
keep 'em coming spring.


on parenting...

so abel is over a year old now & we are definitely PARENTING. up until this point, it's mostly been keeping him alive... but over the past couple months the real job of parenting has begun & i will be the first to tell you (wide eyed emoji) IT AIN'T FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. sheesh. the past couple of weeks have been some of my harder "mom" weeks & though the rewards are GOOD + PLENTY, i would be lying if i didn't say there have also been moments of just sitting down and crying at 10:30 am & thinking to myself, "help! how am i going to make it until 5 when chris gets home?!"
i am not a naturally patient person, i get overwhelmed easily, and i beat myself up over EVERY mistake... so needless to say I AM LEARNING SO MUCH... and i mean so much. i am in the thick of  learning to navigate a new chapter of motherhood & i am being stretched in more ways than one. all the while trying my best to have grace in the process. 
that's all we can do really.
is anyone with me?
my friend said something to me last week that is SO true & something i need constant reminder of... NEW MERCIES. with every morning, (really with every moment) comes new mercies. 
God chose me to be Abel's mom, not anyone else. I am the one he needs... not the mom who appears to have it all together on that one blog, or the well seasoned mom of three who's figured it all out by now... ME. God chose me, and thank Him for it! Because with all of the new hurdles that come with a 15 month old, there also comes hide & seek, a belly laugh that melts me to a puddle, sleeping through the night, giving kisses, a tooth filled grin from ear to ear, SO much understanding that i feel like he is going to be telling ME what to do here pretty soon, more love in my heart than i ever imagined having, and SO many more wonderful things that totally kick the hard moments in the butt. 
being a parent is challenging (who knew ;)) and it's also hands down the most rewarding job in this world. that's all i'm sayin' :) now about that laugh...


a happy list

lemons + lemonade, or anything yellow. i've always loved these things, but even more so now.

seeing our baby girl on the big screen at our 19 week ultrasound.

everything about abel.

watching endless amounts of nashville with chris, gosh it's just so good. 

dessert, always.

sisters, always. 

the beautiful weather we've been having + the picnics at the park that have come along with it.

pictures. in my memory, on my phone, on my computer... i love pictures + the memories that they capture so we can hold them close.

color. i've never met one i didn't like.

abel's belly laugh. i'd do whatever it took to hear that sound.


guess what...

... and we are SO excited!


baby kicks.

last week i felt my first, no doubt about it, baby kick.

let me tell you... it was JUST as surprising + no less exciting as the first time that i felt Abel kick. what i didn't remember is how much i love them. sweet little baby bumps, just stopping in to say, 'hey mama'.

for the past couple of weeks i had thought i had maybe been feeling tiny flutters, but then i wasn't sure if maybe i had just really WANTED to feel something + had talked myself into thinking that any sort of rumblings in my belly were baby kicks. so last thursday, as i lay there, trying SO HARD to focus + feel something, having to remind myself every couple of seconds to breathe (you know... since there are two of us relying on that right now)... i was just beginning to pray, God where are the baby kicks? please send me a baby kick. bump, he or she goes, on the right side of my tummy (that was abel's favorite spot too). chris got to feel one too + a few since then as well, which i loved even more + also confirmed that i was not imagining things + that there is in fact a tiny person growing inside of me.

it's weird, we've been through this before, but it doesn't change the wonder of it all. those little kicks are so special + sweet. i still can hardly believe sometimes that we are getting to do this all over again. be pregnant, be parents! it is truly the most amazing gift + i pray to never take it for granted, even on the hard days. God is so good + His design is so perfect + beautiful. thank you Jesus in Heaven for abel + thank you for giving us this opportunity again with little bump two. 


two things.

two things melting me lately.

1. the pitter patter in my heart when his chubby warm hand meets mine.
2. everything else about him.

i'm in love, i'm in love + i don't care who knows it.

11 birthdays later + he's still my favorite reason to eat cake...

today we celebrated my sweet love. 11 birthdays together + a whole lotta cake...

cake. we actually didn't have any this year at his request (insert wide eyed emoji here). chris's only request this year was that we go out to dinner with friends, so that's exactly what we did. it was so nice to be out with wonderful people. when we lived in charlotte, the community + fellowship we experienced there was unlike any place we've been before. we made so many life long friends there + it is by far what we have missed most since moving home. tonight though, was one of those nights that just felt right. we were surrounded by great people + love, and i looked around + thought... i'll take a second helping of this please with a side of strawberry ice cream. 
what a  H A double P Y birthday it was.

chris is the love of my life. an amazing father + provider. he loves me when i am NOT being an easy person to love. he cares for others + is passionate about all that he does. he's the most attractive sleeper i've ever seen, lucky for abel he inherited that trait as well... i know this because i'm writing this as they both sleep so sweet next to me. he chooses me + abel daily, and is the skip in my step. he just makes life better.

happy birthday husband, i love you more than more.


whoa, that's a lot of grams.

i didn't even do a G R A M S post in march, oops. so here they are, grams for days. that silly little app is just the bees knees. i very rarely tweet + facebook is like a long lost cousin to me, but instagram... i'm a pretty consistent grammer, it's my favorite little online community. if you're not on it... get on that + if you're not following me + would like to be... @mrshillarysal 


jumbled thoughts.

you know you're a "blogger" when you find yourself thinking in blog post format. 
lately, i've found myself doing it + often. mostly little snippets with no real direction, but i've been writing them down as they come + decided to publish them all in one post labeled jumbled thoughts, since mostly, that's what they are. welcome to my brain this past week.

i've noticed lately that when i look outside in the early mornings, they look like spring/summer mornings. i never remembered that early morning looked any different depending on the season (or maybe i was just never up as early as i am now), but now that i'm noticing it, i'm realizing how much i love a warmer sky. there's just something about it.

i think about my dad a lot. lately it's been most when i'm putting abel down for bed. i am still baffled when i think about how he's not here anymore. if i'm being honest with you, i think it's the stupidest thing in the world. seriously? my dad is gone from this earth forever? permanently. i hate it & i can't believe it's real. maybe i thought i'd be used to it 4 months later... i'm not. it hurts just the same, i remember him as clearly as i ever did, i remember it happening like it was last night & i miss him just as much as i started to the day i knew the end of his life was coming, two weeks before he passed. i wish i had something inspiring to say about it, for your sake & mine, but today i don't. all i can say is that i miss him.

abel has about 20 billion teeth & it seems they all showed up at the same time. he went from 8 little front teeth, to having SO many molars come in. it hasn't been fun for him, or us for that matter, but it's looking like we have to be nearing the end for a while because they are all almost through. & the reward?... SUCH A CUTE SMILE, i can't get over it. 

lastly, we are welcoming april with wide open arms over here, hope you are too :) i've got peach nail polish on my toes, tulips in a vase, floral prints for days + husbands birthday is next week! i fully intend to go overboard with balloons + cake + celebrating him. i don't know if he's ready for it, but i sure am.


birthday season.

it's that time of year again! if you remember this post from last year, birthday season just really gets me going. my head fills up with sprinkles & balloons & pretty gift bags. i love it. birthdays are to be celebrated, even if you are turning 26 & it's the first time you're thinking... uhhh i'm not sure about this number. plus, birthday season kicks off spring + summer in my mind & with that comes all of the best things.
to be 100% honest, i'm a little sad this year because we will be missing my dad, and i feel a strange guilt for having my birthday at all, when he didn't get to have another one. his birthday has always been the day before mine, and last year we had the best joint birthday party ever. when everyone began singing to us & we were preparing to blow out our candles, the weirdest sensation came over me & i remember starting to tear up because i just got the feeling that it would be our last birthday together.. and it was. i'm so thankful for all of the shared birthdays & for last year's celebration, but i'm a little apprehensive this year, because in all of the joy that comes with birthdays & family gatherings, there is always a sadness lingering, an empty space that can't be filled by anything or anyone but him. i know he'd want us to celebrate, so we will + in his honor there had better be some cherry chip cake with marshmallow frosting (eww) & a plate full of watermelon around.this year will be different than all the years before it. i feel like that's true about most years for me though. 21 still dated chris. 22 married him. 23 got a cupcake cake. 24 had a baby. 25 is pregnant for  a second time + i'll welcome that little turkey not long after 26 debuts. i love birthdays & i love life. i believe both should be celebrated, and often. we are disciplined in so many areas of our life, whether  that be our schedule, our diet, our activities, etc.  i believe that celebrating should be a discipline in our every day life & equally as important as our other practices. choose to celebrate things big and small & you've got a whole nother brand of happy coming your way.so here's to april. to birthday season. & to confetti throwing being a daily occurrence for the next three months or so.