F O U R

Why is four stopping me dead in my tracks?

Abel's birthday is more than just his birthday to me. His birthday is the day I became a mother. For nine months prior to January 25, 2013 I had shared my body, shared my thoughts, constantly thought of another life that wasn't my own + cared deeply about my responsibility in helping to sustain it... but on that day, that Friday night, my life would change forever. 

I remember everything like it was yesterday, from talking on the phone with my father in law the day before while i hung our last little gallery of wedding photos in our new home, to the first words i said when i saw his sweet little face... to chris, "he has your eyes!" There is nothing like becoming a parent. Nothing will stretch you more, teach you more, or force you to rely on the grace + forgiveness that's been freely given to you by Jesus on the cross. new mercies every day, every hour sometimes. 

four years of sacrifice + fulfillment + joy + heartache. four years of maple syrup inducing nostalgia + little fingers on my neck. four years of cottontop hair, morning snuggles, sleepless nights + noticing the little things that normally might get looked over. four years of all the best things + all the hardest things. four is breaking my heart you guys.

abel, you're special. you're kind + curious, gentle + wild. you are the very best son i could ask for + an even better brother to your sisters. we are thankful for your life + all the ways it's changed ours. thank you for being the epitome of breaking the mold when it comes to little boys. we love you so much. here's to F O U R!

& a walk down memory lane:   three  -  two  -  one

oh, brother...

abel is the best

he is the best

from the north, south, east, and west

he's the best, he's the best

yes, yes, yes! woohoo!

...no but really he is. this is "the song" we sing whenever our kids do anything special or anything totally mundane that we have to make fun again. it's actually the song my mom made up for her own kids when we did things. i'm fairly certain this song wasn't around when i was young enough to appreciate it, it MAY date back to ashton being young, but i think it started with my brothers. either way! it's a happy little song that makes kids smile, and i'm all about that... AND abel really is the best + that's what i'm here to talk about...

abel is the very best brother in the world. if i had an older brother, he would be my first pick! he is loving + thoughtful, he shows concern + tries to keep lucy out of danger + in line. he waits for her + holds her hand + shows her how to do things, often times without prompting. he includes her in fun + adventure, and is all around winning when it comes to being a three year old. chris + i would both love to have another boy JUST like him in every way, but we also just feel it in our hearts that if abel ends up the only boy in our family, or the Grant family in general (5 to 1 going strong so far) that he is the perfect child for that role. have i praised abel today? ...kidding, but he's just special, i can't help myself + when he's older + looks back at this (which he will totally be into, like most men... duh ;)) i want him to have written proof of how much we adored him.

next up... abel is the best because he is officially PASSY FREE. i. can't. believe it.

as of, wednesday, may 18, 2016 - RIP "my pass".

bittersweet. 

mostly sweet, but i officially have to accept that he's not a baby anymore... though he'll always be mine. 

abel's third birthday day!

this is three ladies + gentlemen!

we had a happy morning at home, complete with waffles, balloons, and party hats (per his request)! he thanked me no less than 8 times for his "party"... i mean, balloons and breakfast + he's calling it a party... i love him so! he got calls from all of his favorite people, and even got video messages + was able to "face" some of his very favorites. it was sweet to feel how loved he is by many, and I'm again reminded how lucky i am to call these two kiddos mine... and now a few photos from the day!

tiny kitchen help is the cutest^^^

later, we took abel bowling for the first time! he had fun, and it was so cute watching him carry and push that huge ball down the lane. oh! and his cake was a hit, both with him + with others.

^^^the face with the eagle is priceless, even in the second photo- still not so sure

besties.

what a happy day!

happy birthday abel love

i write this on the eve of your birthday, and when i wake up you'll be three.

...and it really feels that way ya know? that fast. like, I woke up and it's three years later. 3 years? no way. where in the world has three years gone, and how have you gotten so big and brilliant? you know your full name, and you love your little sister. you say things like "absolutely" and "i need my privacy", you encourage lucy with "good job, baby girl", and tell me when you don't need a bath because you "don't have toddler stink."

abel, there aren't even words to express our love for you. our firstborn, our son... you're everything and more. i've always loved the perfect mix of sweet & gentle, and wild boy that you are. your snuggles are the very sweetest, and when we pick you up from leaving you anywhere (even for 5 minutes) you immediately tell me, in your most endearing voice, "i missed you mommy." you never turn down a kiss or a hug & are one of the kindest and caring three year olds i've encountered. this all said, you're still out to give me gray hair early with every couch plummet, furniture scaling, and tooth cracking (no really... not one time, but TWICE in the time between your last birthday & now you've broken your front teeth... oy). you're wild and wonderful, and my prayer is that you always are. stay adventurous like daddy & continue aging me with your courageous & curious spirit, and stay sweet too. the best men in the world have a gentleness to them, and no matter the age, have never been embarrassed to hug + kiss their mamas ;)

tomorrow you'll wake to balloons & waffles, and you've requested an m&m cake, and like i am now, i'll cry a little because i just can't believe we are here again... celebrating another year gone by, another birthday with you! how incredible. after those real ugly cry few glistening tears, i'll spend the day (and every day) celebrating your most precious life, and all of the joy it has brought to ours and the people around you, every single day since you took your first breath and i held you in my arms. i love you abel... you're the very sweetest cake of life. praise God for you.

...and for a couple of my favorite photos from the year... but honestly, as i've said before... every photo has been my favorite photo at one point or another... so back scroll the pages of this blog to see some of them, a little trip down memory lane never hurt anybody :) 

**abel's 2nd birthday note & his first!