F O U R

Why is four stopping me dead in my tracks?
Abel's birthday is more than just his birthday to me. His birthday is the day I became a mother. For nine months prior to January 25, 2013 I had shared my body, shared my thoughts, constantly thought of another life that wasn't my own + cared deeply about my responsibility in helping to sustain it... but on that day, that Friday night, my life would change forever. 
I remember everything like it was yesterday, from talking on the phone with my father in law the day before while i hung our last little gallery of wedding photos in our new home, to the first words i said when i saw his sweet little face... to chris, "he has your eyes!" There is nothing like becoming a parent. Nothing will stretch you more, teach you more, or force you to rely on the grace + forgiveness that's been freely given to you by Jesus on the cross. new mercies every day, every hour sometimes. 
four years of sacrifice + fulfillment + joy + heartache. four years of maple syrup inducing nostalgia + little fingers on my neck. four years of cottontop hair, morning snuggles, sleepless nights + noticing the little things that normally might get looked over. four years of all the best things + all the hardest things. four is breaking my heart you guys.
abel, you're special. you're kind + curious, gentle + wild. you are the very best son i could ask for + an even better brother to your sisters. we are thankful for your life + all the ways it's changed ours. thank you for being the epitome of breaking the mold when it comes to little boys. we love you so much. here's to F O U R!
& a walk down memory lane:   three  -  two  -  one