l a t e l y

i've been...

...letting abel stay in the bath as long as his little heart desires. sometimes until the water is luke warm + his toes are raisins. he's so cute in there.

...trying to take more videos + also trying to be on my phone less... it's a strange mix because i don't want to miss life by being glued to a screen + always seeing life through a lens, in the same sentence i want to capture moments through photo + video so that i can replay them over + over when the faulty camera in my mind fails me. i have a few videos of my dad + i wish i had more now that he's in Heaven.

...thinkin' about + experiencing grief. they say there are seven different phases + i've definitely seen some of them, some of them more than once. the weirdest part of grief for me is the guilt that comes over you when you feel joy. it's an inappropriate reaction, but a real one + an understandable one too.

...eating too many muddy buddies because i just don't know if there is a better combination of flavors.

...helping my mom move into a new home.

...wrapping gifts until the day is done. i think i may enjoy wrapping gifts more than opening them + giving them over receiving them.

...getting a fair dose of abel sass + i can't say it's my favorite thing... but i'd take bratty all day over no abel at all + i believe that this phase will pass just as quickly as all the ones before it.

...thinking about the future + all of the hopes that are in my heart... hopes for abel, hopes for chris, hopes for me, my family, hope all around...

thanks for stopping by, have a happy weekend!


Anonymous said...

Hi Hil,
May your heart be at peace, and your family receive much comfort. My dad passed away 3 years ago, I was 23. To young to experience something so tragic. I just want to say, that it does slowly but surely get easier. Cry when you feel like crying, save all your pictures and videos somewhere safe, and don't be afraid to ask for comfort or prayer!

Happy Holidays

Anonymous said...

I just stumbled onto your blog looking at maternity photos. While the maternity clothes drew me in on pinterest, what caught me is your dad. I too lost my dad a few days before Thanksgiving this year after a 5 week illness. we're all still totally devastated. My husband also gave the rememberance at the funeral. I too feel the guilt of experiencing happiness at times. I keep hearing that it's ok to feel whatever we feel and grief comes in waves. Hits you when it's least expected. Here's to getting through this holiday with strength and peace.