c h a n g e

right around the time lucy was born, chris started traveling for work. this was obviously spectacular timing, as i was now learning to navigate being a mother of two children AND on top of it then, also learning to do it solo when he was away. ----i'm going to go ahead and say cheers here, to single mothers + mothers who have husbands that are gone for extended periods of time. i know that you have your routines, just the same as i do, and we are both getting-it-done, hooray! but i know that it's not the preferred method for most and so i really do respect and cheer on anyone in that boat!----

in the early days there were an embarrassing amount of car naps, and everyone load up in the car for bedtime too so i can transfer you into your beds asleep, because i just don't know any other way i'm going to get you to bed being outnumbered and not well structured like this... TRUTH, judge if you wanna. over the course of the past year and a half though, i've gotten into my routines with the kids when chris is both home & away, which has helped tremendously. this is a serious accomplishment for me, and both that combined with the kids also getting older has changed our days from melt downs all around (mostly from me) and what felt like a serious sh*t show sometimes (excuse the language but there is truly just no better way to put it) to what i've suddenly, and happily noticed to be us enjoying & living our days out, instead of me feeling like i survived it. i don't know when the shift happened, but i just noticed this week, during one of chris' longest trips to date, that i wasn't wishing for or pushing through to bed time, but instead looking up at the clock and realizing that it is already here or maybe even past and still asking the kids if they'd like to read some books or watch a movie with me. this is a clouds parting in the sky milestone for me, and really couldn't have happened at a better time, since now instead of "chris travels sometimes" it's more like "chris is home sometimes". that is a struggle on it's own, and i miss him, and the kids miss him, and FaceTime is our very best friend... but to be having happy little days with the little people that i love the very most + regular naps (not typically in the car anymore haha), and quality time, and the sweetest bed time and cherishing their every word + not feeling so snowed under that i need them to go to sleep so i can catch my bearings is so settling + helps a lot. thank you Lord for this window before our new little one arrives, You ALWAYS ALWAYS know the perfect timing for all things.

motherhood is such a journey, and each phase with each age and child is new. i remember feeling like i finally had it down with abel just before lucy was born + thinking, well here we go shaking things up... and here i am again, victory dancing just a few short months from adding another little one to our crew... but i like to think i've learned and grown + that hopefully i've been seasoned to do better with each one added. either way i'm so thankful for this role, even on the very hardest days, and even more so on the best ones. thank you a million times, and a million times again God.
(below pictured: 23 weeks! and below that ... life snippets from lately-ish with mentioned hooligans)