pity party, party of one.

I normally don't do this.
In fact I may not even post this, we'll see.
But I just have to take a second and vent, also known as complaining...

1) After weeks/months of searching for houses, not finding a ton, having ones we liked get rented by someone else because we weren't ready... Finally we found what would have been the perfect home. It was in our price range, we were prepared to make a move, went to a showing.... To find out that they wouldn't accept pets :( like not at all. So disappointing. So we are now back on the search.

2) I'm tired of not feeling good :( we are going on two weeks today of some major discomfort. I'm glad this medicine is keeping me from seeing my food a second time around, but as far as the constant stomach pain & feeling of needing to barf... It ain't touchin' it. WHAT IS GOING ON?! 
Also did I mention that on top of that, this week alone my belly feels like it has doubled in size & may just pop at any given moment? Yea... We've got that going on. It makes me SO happy, because I know our little boy is growing SO good in there, but wow... For the first time in 7 months it REALLY feels like my body is not my own.

Complaining aside... I have NOT forgotten how blessed I am.

I am so grateful that my parents have allowed us to stay with them. We have a roof over our heads, food in our bellies, warm beds, the list goes on & on.
We have loving families.
We are having a baby boy. And even though he is totally owning me these days, he gave me a pretty easy breezy time for the past 7 months & if being uncomfortable/sick for the next two is what i need to do now so that he can grow perfect & do baby things, I guess it's pretty fair, and TOTALLY worth it. 
I am married to the most precious man on this earth. He loves me and takes care of me. He sacrifices for our family. He is the best person to do life with.
It's Christmas & I love Christmas. 
My dad is healthy & home.

This list could literally go on and on and on. It's more than SO many people can say. I really am so thankful & I don't like when days like today get the best of me. God has us. He has a plan for us & for our lives & our future. I cling to being in control & it is so hard for me to let go of that & just trust a lot of the times. But it's honestly what I need to do now more than ever, and realize that I never had the control to start. And instead of worrying or complaining, I need to be praying more. 

Man, am I still such a child. Constantly being shown how much more i still have to learn. Thankfully God loves me & knows my heart. On that note, my Christmas music and I are off to bed. Goodnite.

1 comment

Britsyb said...

I feel your pain! The last months of my pregnancy were challenging as well. Hang in there! When you hold your little man - oh so soon - you'll completely and totally forget it and be ready to do it again! At least that is how it was for me!