jumbled thoughts.

you know you're a "blogger" when you find yourself thinking in blog post format. 

lately, i've found myself doing it + often. mostly little snippets with no real direction, but i've been writing them down as they come + decided to publish them all in one post labeled jumbled thoughts, since mostly, that's what they are. welcome to my brain this past week.

i've noticed lately that when i look outside in the early mornings, they look like spring/summer mornings. i never remembered that early morning looked any different depending on the season (or maybe i was just never up as early as i am now), but now that i'm noticing it, i'm realizing how much i love a warmer sky. there's just something about it.

i think about my dad a lot. lately it's been most when i'm putting abel down for bed. i am still baffled when i think about how he's not here anymore. if i'm being honest with you, i think it's the stupidest thing in the world. seriously? my dad is gone from this earth forever? permanently. i hate it & i can't believe it's real. maybe i thought i'd be used to it 4 months later... i'm not. it hurts just the same, i remember him as clearly as i ever did, i remember it happening like it was last night & i miss him just as much as i started to the day i knew the end of his life was coming, two weeks before he passed. i wish i had something inspiring to say about it, for your sake & mine, but today i don't. all i can say is that i miss him.

abel has about 20 billion teeth & it seems they all showed up at the same time. he went from 8 little front teeth, to having SO many molars come in. it hasn't been fun for him, or us for that matter, but it's looking like we have to be nearing the end for a while because they are all almost through. & the reward?... SUCH A CUTE SMILE, i can't get over it. 

lastly, we are welcoming april with wide open arms over here, hope you are too :) i've got peach nail polish on my toes, tulips in a vase, floral prints for days + husbands birthday is next week! i fully intend to go overboard with balloons + cake + celebrating him. i don't know if he's ready for it, but i sure am.

a few jumbled thoughts on pregnancy this morning.

1) i’m pregnant. it’s weird… and awesome, and exciting, and kind of uneventful so far all at the same time!

2) i think i had a naive idea of what getting a bump would be like? i’ve seen friends, other women, & other bloggers go through the transition, but for me, i was just going to have my normal stomach & then out of no where have this precious little bump. going through the awkward, thick waisted, ‘is she pregnant or just eating one or five too many donuts EVERY DAY?’ phase was just something i would skip over :) haha.

3) morning sickness? cravings? aversions? other weird & unpleasant symptoms?… what’s that? referring to number one of this post, when i say uneventful, i only mean that so far this entire pregnancy has been smooooothe sailing, and for that i am thankful. before you have ever been pregnant, you truly have NO idea what hand you will be dealt. i for one am preeeetty grateful that i haven’t had any of the crazy symptoms you hear about others going through! && the ones they have listed on the questionnaire at the doctor’s office?!?! PRAISE YOU JESUS! i didn’t even know half of that stuff was a possibility! so i’m a privileged preggo girl. what of it?! i just hope this doesn’t mean our baby is going to pay us back in full once he or she gets here & give us the hardest time in all of baby/parent history! i kid, i kid! ;)

4) ummm, major props to couples who didn’t or couldn’t find out the gender of their baby before delivery! i think it is the most awesome thing in the world, and what a surprise it would be to wait!! but for reals… i’m not sure i could do it! atleast not with my first baby anyway! i am dyyyyinnngggg to know what we are having! seriously. counting the days! i don’t have a feeling one way or the other. soooo many first time moms say, “i feel like it’s a (insert gender here), i just have a strong feeling.” yea, not this mama! i can barely even feel a difference between not being pregnant, and being pregnant (or maybe i’ve just forgotten??) much less have a feeling as to whether its a mini-me or mini-chris in there! most of our friends are betting boy,  & there are not many people on team baby girl, womp womp. husband has it in his mind that it’s a boy, quite frankly, i don’t think he even knows that it’s a 50/50 chance and that a little girl could be a possibility! haha! i guess we’ll see! truth be told… i haaaave been working on evening out the boy/girl piles of clothes that i have picked up along the way… i may have been a little girl heavy to start out ;) but we will be THRILLED either way, and it will be nice to start envisioning what our little pepperoni will look like, as opposed to the non-descript baby blob that i currently picture holding in my loving arms.

5) 5 minute meltdowns. this might be one of the only things i HAVE experienced since being ‘with child’ <--- (i kind of love saying it that way ha! it just sounds funny, and awesome.) anyhow, yea, i was sort of a 5 minute meltdowner over nothing type girl before, but it has become more apparent since being ‘with child’ <--- (ha! there it is again ;)) that and also that whole ‘pregnancy brain’ thing they talk about? it’s real. i’ll be pricing stuff up at the vintage shop & i’ll ask my mom how much she wants to price an item, she’ll tell me, i’ll turn to write it down & i’ve already forgotten… so that’s nice!

6) overall, it’s just crazy exciting to think that chris and i are starting something as wonderful as family. i get emotional when i think of my grandparents & their story. they fell in love and started something AMAZING. 8 kids, and those kids got married and had kids, and now their kids are having kids (aka me). it’s just nuts to think that husband and i are starting our own version of that now! i love it. in all seriousness, it just really is truly wonderful to be a part of God’s giant plan. blessed, blessed, blessed.

7) …but, enough about me, how are YOU today?!