on parenting...

so abel is over a year old now & we are definitely PARENTING. up until this point, it's mostly been keeping him alive... but over the past couple months the real job of parenting has begun & i will be the first to tell you (wide eyed emoji) IT AIN'T FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. sheesh. the past couple of weeks have been some of my harder "mom" weeks & though the rewards are GOOD + PLENTY, i would be lying if i didn't say there have also been moments of just sitting down and crying at 10:30 am & thinking to myself, "help! how am i going to make it until 5 when chris gets home?!"
i am not a naturally patient person, i get overwhelmed easily, and i beat myself up over EVERY mistake... so needless to say I AM LEARNING SO MUCH... and i mean so much. i am in the thick of  learning to navigate a new chapter of motherhood & i am being stretched in more ways than one. all the while trying my best to have grace in the process. 
that's all we can do really.
is anyone with me?
my friend said something to me last week that is SO true & something i need constant reminder of... NEW MERCIES. with every morning, (really with every moment) comes new mercies. 
God chose me to be Abel's mom, not anyone else. I am the one he needs... not the mom who appears to have it all together on that one blog, or the well seasoned mom of three who's figured it all out by now... ME. God chose me, and thank Him for it! Because with all of the new hurdles that come with a 15 month old, there also comes hide & seek, a belly laugh that melts me to a puddle, sleeping through the night, giving kisses, a tooth filled grin from ear to ear, SO much understanding that i feel like he is going to be telling ME what to do here pretty soon, more love in my heart than i ever imagined having, and SO many more wonderful things that totally kick the hard moments in the butt. 
being a parent is challenging (who knew ;)) and it's also hands down the most rewarding job in this world. that's all i'm sayin' :) now about that laugh...

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