birthday season.

it's that time of year again! if you remember this post from last year, birthday season just really gets me going. my head fills up with sprinkles & balloons & pretty gift bags. i love it. birthdays are to be celebrated, even if you are turning 26 & it's the first time you're thinking... uhhh i'm not sure about this number. plus, birthday season kicks off spring + summer in my mind & with that comes all of the best things.
to be 100% honest, i'm a little sad this year because we will be missing my dad, and i feel a strange guilt for having my birthday at all, when he didn't get to have another one. his birthday has always been the day before mine, and last year we had the best joint birthday party ever. when everyone began singing to us & we were preparing to blow out our candles, the weirdest sensation came over me & i remember starting to tear up because i just got the feeling that it would be our last birthday together.. and it was. i'm so thankful for all of the shared birthdays & for last year's celebration, but i'm a little apprehensive this year, because in all of the joy that comes with birthdays & family gatherings, there is always a sadness lingering, an empty space that can't be filled by anything or anyone but him. i know he'd want us to celebrate, so we will + in his honor there had better be some cherry chip cake with marshmallow frosting (eww) & a plate full of watermelon around.this year will be different than all the years before it. i feel like that's true about most years for me though. 21 still dated chris. 22 married him. 23 got a cupcake cake. 24 had a baby. 25 is pregnant for  a second time + i'll welcome that little turkey not long after 26 debuts. i love birthdays & i love life. i believe both should be celebrated, and often. we are disciplined in so many areas of our life, whether  that be our schedule, our diet, our activities, etc.  i believe that celebrating should be a discipline in our every day life & equally as important as our other practices. choose to celebrate things big and small & you've got a whole nother brand of happy coming your here's to april. to birthday season. & to confetti throwing being a daily occurrence for the next three months or so.

No comments