tomorrow is my birthday, and though 24 is young (okay 27), i swear i'm getting gray hair... okay, i'm really not, but i believe if i were actually getting gray hair, it would be more likely due to my children and not so much my age. those two hams fill my cup with joy to the brim and with it, never forget a side of chaos... 
i'll admit, sometimes two kids feels like 20. bring it on.
last week lucy was caught eating a lime green jelly bean that had been left behind by toddler munchkins, and abel helped himself to at least one sip of wine from a glass just within his reach... on the same day. I'm normally not one to share these types of incidents publicly for obvious reasons, but because no harm came to either of them, i'm choosing to laugh + want it documented... to remember, for them, and for me, and for the days when they are grown and I miss the little versions of them who kept me on my toes at every turn. 
they will wonder when they sat up or walked for the first time or what their first word was when they have kids of their own sure... but the stories they'll really be interested in, that we will laugh and share around the table together, that they'll tell their own kids... are the ones like these. sips of wine thinking its juice, curious hands sampling jelly beans, our first s-word and calling your dad "daddy-chris" ALWAYS. sitting by the heater vent & inviting mama to join, "here mama, here!" chasing bubbles in auntie's backyard, and getting halfway down the street before realizing that you are in fact sitting in your car seat, but you're not buckled in. these are the stories that you'll laugh at, that will make you smile, and when you're a parent one day, they'll give you comfort when you or your own kid does something as silly as this and you start to feel like you're doing it all wrong + making all sorts of mistakes.
these are our stories. i want to live an unfiltered life. if this space is really my own, for me and for my family, i want to have bits of every avenue here. it doesn't mean i think that i (or anyone) need to disclose everything all the time, of course not. i just don't want to leave out some of the good stuff in fear of judgment or looking less than perfect. i'm a great mother. i'm not perfect + somedays by 9am i'm convinced that i'm doing everything wrong, but i was chosen for this road, for you my sweet littles! we have happy days together + when i hear your giggles and see your smiling faces, i can see that you're well loved + that i'm doing just fine, we are doing just fine. 

1 comment

Britsyb said...

Hello! I have a boy and a girl at very similar ages to yours and I know exactly what you mean! We got to run to the emergency clinic last month because my 1 year old daughter got ahold of some nickels and I had to pull them out of her mouth. We weren't sure if she ate one so had to get an xray to check! Some days I want them to stay this age forever and some days I think I'm going nuts!