a love letter to my sweet abel.

you are 21 months old, and let me just say, I seriously laugh when counting in months at this point. when people tell me their baby is 23 months, I'm like... so he's almost two? I get it, I get it... no one wants their tiny to grow up. it's just that, I have to go back and count through the months every single time, and I'd really rather just say, he's one and a half, or he will be two in January... two?! TWO?! and in place of all of that, you staying teeny forever would have been just as fine with me, because life with you is flying by too fast. 

you're the greatest around. sunshine on the cloudiest day. you've got a mouth full of teeth, that you'd never let us brush if it were up to you, your hair is coming in so nicely, no weird lengths or missing patches... I guess losing every last strand is paying off! you suddenly seem so tall and heavy, it makes me wonder how in the world i had been carrying all 23 pounds of you around with a big pregnant belly too. you love your sister. holding her, kissing her & snuggling next to her quickly became part of your daily routine. baby, you call her, in the sweetest, softest, high pitched coo I've heard, and it still melts me by the 56,789th time in the day. along with baby, you've over night found your voice & developed a vocabulary. this includes, baby, ball, bird, book, pumpkin, up, down, get down, hi, hat, hot, bye, bye-bye, cookie, cup, daddy, doggie, moon, passy(with out the s's) out, tent, spoon, baba(mama) and so many others that I can't remember right now. other people may not call these "words" because you mostly just say the beginning and sometimes end of them, but we as your parents, know exactly what you're telling us & know that full on convos are just around the bend. I for one, can't wait. I love the sweet sound of your voice and every thing you have to say!

shaking your head no is something you've done for a while, but now you actually mean it and I love that. you are not shy about letting us know when you don't want to do something. this week though, I taught you to nod when the answer is yes. you sort of just clunk your head down in front one strong time and that's that, okay. you're also not shy about letting us know when you're un happy... it's not your most adorable quality, but then again is anyone's upset/angry state their best self? I think not. we as adults (or at least the mature ones) do not try hitting or kicking(the latest) to let others know our unhappiness, but a couple more time outs and you just might understand that too.

we're convinced you're ready to potty train. you have been for a month or more now, but every day it's more obvious. so we will start down that road next week... or soonish... next week, no, soonish! (advice from those who've already been down this road, welcomed!)

you are officially jumping, one leg at a time of course, putting your whole body behind it and bending down low to get a real good spring behind you. it's jumping to you, to me it's plain adorable. 

you love to run, and always. even when you come to our room in the middle of the night, I hear your feet hit the floor and then one of my favorite sounds, thud thud thud, running across the hall, usually accompanied by a small fuss or cry because, how dare we leave you in there alone?!

adventurous and daring as you may be, you still love to snuggle and you still love your mama like no other. I'm so thankful for you. you're sweet & gentle, your quiet and noisy, you give hugs and kisses on demand, and are sensitive to others feelings and your environment. you can sense when things are weird in a room and you yell out if it makes you feel uneasy. when dad hugs me, sometimes it worries you that he's harming me and you point to us and yell, so we explain to you that we are each other's, that it's okay for us to hug and then invite you in for a family hug and you love that. grammy taught you to flirt with your eyes, batting your looooong thick lashes and looking up, MELT. you also have the cutest sweet, shy smile when you're in front of a crowd. your whole face smiles but you don't show your teeth.. cutie. the thrill of almost being pummeled by a dog running high speed is right up your alley, I can't count the number of videos I have of you, neck veins bulging, belly laughing as harvey or lucy the dog run RIGHT by you after a ball. this, along with countless other somewhat dangerous/thrilling things are so much fun to you & you laugh and laugh. your laugh could be my life's soundtrack on repeat!

I love you abel. so much it physically aches in my heart how much! I could squeeze you too tightly on any given day, and break out in song... but I won't, especially not with a group. singing in unison might be your very least favorite thing in the world (second to bedtime) and is a sure way to make you cry hard, real tears with a long recovery time afterwards. (note to all when his second birthday does arrive)

thanks for being you. for running to get me anytime the heat kicks on, so we can stand on the heater vent together, for loving pumpkins more than anyone i know, for showing me the world through new eyes, daily. being a mother, your mother, is where I found myself. where I no longer looked for outside praise or attention. it's my sweet spot, my calling. and YOU are the reason. I love you!

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