4.22.2013

me.

me
for as long as i can remember, i have always been a huge admirer of people.
this has served me well for the most part. i generally give people the benefit of the doubt, see the best in them (some say, almost to a fault), and all around love most people i encounter. this to me is a great quality to have. loving people is important. it’s the Lord’s work. & loving people & trying to see them with His eyes, is pleasing to Him, so i’m good with that.

this all being said, i found that my admiration for people (especially when it came to this internet world & knowing people from afar) occasionally turned into me wanting to be just like them instead of just like me... their life. their talents. their look. their body. their successes. and on & on…
truthfully, as much as i don’t like to admit it, much of my youth wasted way too much time entertaining this idea.

just recently i realized something wonderful though.
for the first time, in possibly my entire life i don’t want to be anybody but me. i don’t want anyone else’s something. i am really loving me. my life. my relationships. my family. my successes. my creativity. my beauty both inside & out.

it’s truly the most amazing feeling, and it caught me by surprise.

i found myself creating without looking to others ideas for inspiration. reading blogs & looking on instagram and not feeling like “less” than whoever i was seeing. seeing other clothing companies & enjoying their creations without comparing to mine. ahhhhhh, such a weight lifted. to love ME. to be fully in my own skin.

i thank abel.
i thank God for blessing me with motherhood.

who freakin’ knew that becoming a mama was going to change THIS much for the BETTER! i mean, i thought it would be wonderful. i KNEW i’d love the heck out of my little baby. i didn’t know what confidence it would give me as a woman though. seeing myself with different eyes, being confident in the person & mother that i am, not feeling insecure about this or that… (i’m no saint… just saying it’s much better:)) praise You Jesus!

the thought that the life, face, body, talent, opportunity, family, spirit, etc. that God gave you isn’t the best one He could have given, because from the outside someone else’s life seems more exciting, their blog has more followers, they take better pictures, they’ve gotten this opportunity and so on… well, it’s a silly silly thought, and one that we should not accept into our hearts & minds. i finally feel free of this, and my hope is that some of you reading this who struggle with the same thing can begin to be freed as well!

on that note, i’m off to do some mommying & housewifery for the day!
**ps, did y'all notice that ombre is back around here! or 'mombre'... as i now like to call it :)
xoxo

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